Myth-Buster Series: Prayer Doesn't Work?

Someone once told me that prayer does not work. She said that she had asked God to heal someone she loved who was sick, but this person died anyway. Many people have similar stories of times when they went to God about something important to them, but He did not do what they asked. Does this mean that prayer does not work or that God does not care?

There’s an assumption being made here that goes something like this: "If God is real and He cares about us, then it would only make sense that He would give us what we ask, at least most of the time." But this is a human-centered, self-serving view of God and prayer. We often see God as the means to our ends. Prayer, we suppose, is the way to access His power and bring it to bear on the problem or issue we're facing. But there’s a problem with this mindset because it contradicts what we read about God in Scripture:

"[A]ll the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing,
and he does according to his will among the host of heaven
and among the inhabitants of the earth;
and none can stay his hand
or say to him, “What have you done?” - Daniel 4:35

The Bible tells us that God is sovereign, meaning He alone is in control and has all of the means and authority to do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. It is His will, His agenda, that is carried out, not man's. Surely if this is who God is, He has the right to say “No” whenever He wants. It may not suit our desires or preferences, but "No" is a perfectly valid answer. If God had to do everything we ask of Him, who would really be in control?

As children, we have to deal with "No" when it comes from our parents. Even caring, loving parents say, "No" to their children out of a desire to do what is best for them. Just like earthly fathers, God also says "Yes" at times, but He is under no obligation to do so! He has the prerogative to say, "Yes," "No," or "Not now," whenever He deems it appropriate. Just because God says “No” does not mean He is not real (or does not care) and just because He does not always explain Himself does not mean His decisions are without reason. 

When we go to God in prayer, we must drop any attitude of entitlement. God made us and gave us life, but we rebel against Him every day. We all deserve death for this treason, but while we were still sinners, He sent the Son, Jesus Christ to die for the unrighteous (Romans 5:8) and promises eternal life to all who repent from sin and put their trust in Jesus (Mark 1:15; John 3:16). For some reason, we need to be constantly reminded that we owe God everything, He owes us nothing, and yet He keeps giving!

In addition to God's sovereignty, Scripture also describes God's immutability, which means He does not change. Since God is completely perfect and has always been perfect, He has no need to grow, learn, or change in any way. Thus, it should not surprise us to learn that God never changes His mind (Numbers 23:19). However, we might start to wonder, "If God never changes His mind, why do we bother to pray?" Again, if we approach prayer with the idea that we can somehow get God to do what WE want, then we've missed something very important. We must remember that's not the way that Jesus taught us to pray:

"Pray then like this:
'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.'" - Matthew 6:9-10

Prayer is about bending our will to God's will, not the other way around. We are to pray for HIS will to be done, not ours. We are to pray for HIS kingdom to rule over the earth, not ours. Our goal is to pray for God's agenda to succeed rather than ours. Again, some may ask, "If God is sovereign and does as He pleases anyway, why do we need to pray for God to do His own will?" Obviously, God does not need us to pray to do what He wants. However, even though He can accomplish His will however He wants, God lets us be part of the process. Prayer is about how God gets us on board with His plan as He works in us to change our desires so that they look more and more like His desires (2 Corinthians 5:17; 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).

As our desires change, what we ask of God also changes. In the Lord's prayer, Jesus instructs us to ask God for what we need, "our daily bread" (Matthew 6:11) even though He says in verse 8 that “your Father knows what you need before you ask.” Again, we might ask, "What's the point?" Clearly, prayer is not about informing God of our needs or wants; He already knows everything. Rather, prayer is about acknowledging our dependence on God. When we pray for something, we are admitting that we cannot do it without God. Prayer makes us more aware of just how much we need God and how great and awesome He is. Through this process, we experience a deeper relationship with Him and He is glorified (John 14:13).

Also, when we realize that God already knows everything, we are free to pray whatever is on our heart. We cannot hide anything from God, so we might as well be real with Him. Even when we are in a bad mood, we can be honest with God. We can admit to Him that we know our hearts are not in the right place and then ask Him to help us adjust our attitudes.

When we pray in this way, we acknowledge that we are the ones who need to change, not God. Prayer is not a system that can be worked to get what we want; we cannot manipulate God. But when we stop asking God to do us favors and start asking Him to make us more like Jesus, we are praying according to His plan rather than ours (Romans 8:28-29). Prayer only "works" when we desire God more than the things He can give us. So the next time you pray, try to pay more attention to what God does IN you rather than FOR you.

For more insights on prayer, you can read or listen to a sermon by John Piper here.