Many people cringe when they hear the word "discipline." Perhaps they feel like it gets in the way of doing what they want to do. However, another way to look at it is to realize that discipline is simply what we have to do to get what we want. Paul uses the analogy of sports in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 and compares the spiritual life of a Christian to an athlete in training: Just like a runner or a boxer trains their body to make it do what they want it to do in a competition, Christians must discipline themselves so that they can live as God has called us.
All discipline starts with submission. In sports, athletes submit to following the rules of the game as well as to the authority of referees who enforce those rules. In life, we must have the humility to submit to God's authority as the Creator of the universe to make and enforce the rules. But too often, we want to live our lives according to our own rules that we make up along the way. If we are going to live our lives God's way, we must start by humbling ourselves and acknowledging who He is as the Lord over everything. However, we must be careful of letting even our obedience become a source of pride. This was the mistake of the Pharisees. Just because we do something that God tells us to do, it doesn't make us any better than someone else. In fact, if that is our attitude, then we haven't really obeyed God at all (Matthew 6:5-6)
We must also remember that God cannot be manipulated. Spiritual disciplines like prayer, fasting, reading the Bible, etc. are not part of a process that we use to get God to do what we want Him to do. WE DO NOT USE GOD AS A MEANS TO AN END!!! He IS the end, the goal, the ultimate prize (John 17:2-3). We need to stop worrying about whether or not sports or our favorite foods will be in heaven and remember that God will be there! And He's the only thing that matters. We must seek His face before we seek His hand.
Finally, discipline is directed by desire. Everyone wants something and everyone is willing to put up with unpleasant consequences to get it. Only someone who really wants to win a marathon will push their body to the edge instead of taking it easy. Only someone who really wants to get good grades will study instead of watching TV or playing video games. Only someone who really wants God will make time in their day to meet with Him. The question then becomes: What do you really want? For those of you who call yourself a Christian, is it God you want or do are you just interested in what you think He can do for you? Go read Psalm 73:25-28 and Philippians 3:8 and ask yourself if you want God as much as the Pslamist or the apostle Paul.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Marriage and the Gospel
By Mark
God said that it was not good for the man to be alone and then created Eve (Genesis 2:18-25). Many people look at this passage from a human-centered perspective and say things like: "Adam was lonely" or "Adam needed a soul-mate" as if these are the primary reasons why God created a woman. However, God's purposes are much higher than human wants or "needs." The reason why it was not good for the man to be alone is because by himself he did not adequately reflect God's image.
Both the man and the woman say something unique about who God is, but when they are united together according to God's design they say something even more than they could as individuals. God is one, but God is not solitary. God exists as a community, the Trinity. He is in relationship with Himself. Therefore, in order for humanity to bear God's image, there had to be relationship. We should certainly not be surprised to see that God's method of saving His people involves relationship and is reflected in the human institution of marriage.
Movies like the Da Vinci code (and the theories associated with them) have cast Jesus in a rather uncomfortable light for some people. To suggest that Jesus actually married a sinful, human woman while He was here on earth seems sacrilegious. However, while such rumors about Jesus are absolutely untrue, it is understandable to see where people come up with such notion when we look closely at the language of the Bible.
If we were to sum up the Bible in a descriptive title it might say something like: "Kill the Dragon, Get the Girl." The imagery in the book of Revelation supports this title as it describes Satan's defeat (the dragon) and the wedding banquet of the Church (the bride) and Jesus (the bridegroom). However, we would also need to add the subtitle: "How God the Father arranged for His Son to marry a prostitute." Again, even though this language strikes us as terribly disrespectful, Scripture backs it up.
If we look through the Old Testament prophets, we see that God's people, the nation of Israel at that time, are portrayed multiple times as either a prostitute or an adulterous wife. Jeremiah 2 and 3, Ezekiel 16, and Hosea 2 all use very graphic language to describe the sin of the people and God's attitude toward it. In Ezekiel 16 we see a description of how God initially established His covenant with the people of Israel (v. 1-14), but later the people cheat on God as they degrade themselves with the false gods of other nations (v. 15-43). Even though God pronounces judgement on Israel because of their despicable actions, the chapter ends with God's promise to make a new covenant with His people and to make atonement for them (v. 59-63).
When Jesus comes, it is to establish a new covenant with a wayward people. His own actions and words declare to us loud and clear that He did not come for the "healthy" but for the sick. He did not come for "good" people, He came for the sinners (Matthew 9:12-13). We also see the marriage symbolism of the Old Testament continuing into the Gospels. Take, for instance, when Jesus speaks to a Samaritan woman at a well. Not only did men not speak to women in public at that time, and not only did Jews not associate with Samaritans, but by having this conversation at a well and starting it by asking for a drink, Jesus is deliberately reminding us of an Old Testament motif: whenever a man meets a woman at a well, a wedding is soon to follow. The wives of Isaac, Jacob, and Moses were all found this way (Genesis 24, 29 and Exodus 2). In this account, we also find out that this Samaritan woman has had five husbands and she is not married to the man with whom she is currently living. Nevertheless, this meeting at the well symbolically reveals who Jesus came to save (the lowest of the low) and that He is saving through a relationship as intimate as marriage (His covenant).
Finally we come to Mary Magdalene. Some people might even be tempted to blame her for all of the tawdry rumors that are told about her and Jesus. "It's true that they didn't do anything wrong, but she made Jesus look bad!" we might say. Actually, if we wanted to accuse someone of trying to make Jesus look bad, we would have to turn to Matthew who included four women with reputation issues in Jesus' genealogy (Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba). But, of course, Matthew was not trying to smear his savior. Instead, he was pointing to the kind of messed up people that Jesus came to save. Similarly, Mary Magdalene is a type, a symbol, of who Jesus came to marry/rescue.
While there is some indication that Mary Magdalene may have been a prostitute, the Bible does not say so explicitly. We do know that at one time, Jesus cast seven demons out of her. The bottom line is that she was a fallen woman with a rough past. However, Jesus restores her and brings her out of that past into a promising future. She comes to follow Jesus, learn from Him, love Him, and support His ministry through her own means. She is present at the the crucifixion and burial of Jesus. She is among the first to see the empty tomb. And she receives the honor of being the first person to see Jesus resurrected.
Even in this encounter outside the tomb we see marriage symbolism. Just as Adam went to sleep and then woke up to meet his wife in a garden, Jesus dies and then rises to meet his symbolic "wife" in a garden. To be clear, Jesus did not come to enter into a literal, human marriage with Mary Magdalene or the woman at the well. But Jesus' interactions with these women demonstrate who He came to save ("sinners") and that He saves by reconciling His people to Himself into an intimate relationship (symbolized by marriage).
The illustration of marriage is used to describe the relationship between Christ and the Church in other places in the New Testament as well. In Ephesians 5:22-33, literal wives and husbands are instructed to mimic the relationship between Christ and the Church. Wives play the part of the Church by submitting to their husbands and husbands play the part of Christ by sacrificially loving their wives. In Revelation, we see the image of the Bride of Christ and the wedding feast that will take place (19:7-9; 21:2, 9-10). Heaven is not just described as a wonderful place to live. It is a celebration that focuses on the union between God and His people that will finally be complete (Revelation 21:3-7).
As we realize how the theme of marriage is intertwined with the Gospel, two points become clear. First, marriage is a big deal. Not only is it meant to be a gift to men and women in this life, but it points to something divine. Marriage is one of the greatest opportunities we have to image our Creator and Savior. Second, we need to realize that we are, in essence, Mary Magdalene. Because of our sin, we are no better than Israel, the prostitute. We have no merit of our own before the holiness of God. We are the same as the woman at the well. But the good news is that Jesus came for people just like us and will restore His people no matter how far they have fallen. If we forget our past, we will become proud, conceited, and self-righteous just like the Pharisees. If we forget our future, we will remain ashamed and guilt-ridden. We must remember that Jesus came to call the sinners, but He also came to transform His Bride into the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21; Revelation 19:7-9).
God said that it was not good for the man to be alone and then created Eve (Genesis 2:18-25). Many people look at this passage from a human-centered perspective and say things like: "Adam was lonely" or "Adam needed a soul-mate" as if these are the primary reasons why God created a woman. However, God's purposes are much higher than human wants or "needs." The reason why it was not good for the man to be alone is because by himself he did not adequately reflect God's image.
Both the man and the woman say something unique about who God is, but when they are united together according to God's design they say something even more than they could as individuals. God is one, but God is not solitary. God exists as a community, the Trinity. He is in relationship with Himself. Therefore, in order for humanity to bear God's image, there had to be relationship. We should certainly not be surprised to see that God's method of saving His people involves relationship and is reflected in the human institution of marriage.
Movies like the Da Vinci code (and the theories associated with them) have cast Jesus in a rather uncomfortable light for some people. To suggest that Jesus actually married a sinful, human woman while He was here on earth seems sacrilegious. However, while such rumors about Jesus are absolutely untrue, it is understandable to see where people come up with such notion when we look closely at the language of the Bible.
If we were to sum up the Bible in a descriptive title it might say something like: "Kill the Dragon, Get the Girl." The imagery in the book of Revelation supports this title as it describes Satan's defeat (the dragon) and the wedding banquet of the Church (the bride) and Jesus (the bridegroom). However, we would also need to add the subtitle: "How God the Father arranged for His Son to marry a prostitute." Again, even though this language strikes us as terribly disrespectful, Scripture backs it up.
If we look through the Old Testament prophets, we see that God's people, the nation of Israel at that time, are portrayed multiple times as either a prostitute or an adulterous wife. Jeremiah 2 and 3, Ezekiel 16, and Hosea 2 all use very graphic language to describe the sin of the people and God's attitude toward it. In Ezekiel 16 we see a description of how God initially established His covenant with the people of Israel (v. 1-14), but later the people cheat on God as they degrade themselves with the false gods of other nations (v. 15-43). Even though God pronounces judgement on Israel because of their despicable actions, the chapter ends with God's promise to make a new covenant with His people and to make atonement for them (v. 59-63).
When Jesus comes, it is to establish a new covenant with a wayward people. His own actions and words declare to us loud and clear that He did not come for the "healthy" but for the sick. He did not come for "good" people, He came for the sinners (Matthew 9:12-13). We also see the marriage symbolism of the Old Testament continuing into the Gospels. Take, for instance, when Jesus speaks to a Samaritan woman at a well. Not only did men not speak to women in public at that time, and not only did Jews not associate with Samaritans, but by having this conversation at a well and starting it by asking for a drink, Jesus is deliberately reminding us of an Old Testament motif: whenever a man meets a woman at a well, a wedding is soon to follow. The wives of Isaac, Jacob, and Moses were all found this way (Genesis 24, 29 and Exodus 2). In this account, we also find out that this Samaritan woman has had five husbands and she is not married to the man with whom she is currently living. Nevertheless, this meeting at the well symbolically reveals who Jesus came to save (the lowest of the low) and that He is saving through a relationship as intimate as marriage (His covenant).
Finally we come to Mary Magdalene. Some people might even be tempted to blame her for all of the tawdry rumors that are told about her and Jesus. "It's true that they didn't do anything wrong, but she made Jesus look bad!" we might say. Actually, if we wanted to accuse someone of trying to make Jesus look bad, we would have to turn to Matthew who included four women with reputation issues in Jesus' genealogy (Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba). But, of course, Matthew was not trying to smear his savior. Instead, he was pointing to the kind of messed up people that Jesus came to save. Similarly, Mary Magdalene is a type, a symbol, of who Jesus came to marry/rescue.
While there is some indication that Mary Magdalene may have been a prostitute, the Bible does not say so explicitly. We do know that at one time, Jesus cast seven demons out of her. The bottom line is that she was a fallen woman with a rough past. However, Jesus restores her and brings her out of that past into a promising future. She comes to follow Jesus, learn from Him, love Him, and support His ministry through her own means. She is present at the the crucifixion and burial of Jesus. She is among the first to see the empty tomb. And she receives the honor of being the first person to see Jesus resurrected.
Even in this encounter outside the tomb we see marriage symbolism. Just as Adam went to sleep and then woke up to meet his wife in a garden, Jesus dies and then rises to meet his symbolic "wife" in a garden. To be clear, Jesus did not come to enter into a literal, human marriage with Mary Magdalene or the woman at the well. But Jesus' interactions with these women demonstrate who He came to save ("sinners") and that He saves by reconciling His people to Himself into an intimate relationship (symbolized by marriage).
The illustration of marriage is used to describe the relationship between Christ and the Church in other places in the New Testament as well. In Ephesians 5:22-33, literal wives and husbands are instructed to mimic the relationship between Christ and the Church. Wives play the part of the Church by submitting to their husbands and husbands play the part of Christ by sacrificially loving their wives. In Revelation, we see the image of the Bride of Christ and the wedding feast that will take place (19:7-9; 21:2, 9-10). Heaven is not just described as a wonderful place to live. It is a celebration that focuses on the union between God and His people that will finally be complete (Revelation 21:3-7).
As we realize how the theme of marriage is intertwined with the Gospel, two points become clear. First, marriage is a big deal. Not only is it meant to be a gift to men and women in this life, but it points to something divine. Marriage is one of the greatest opportunities we have to image our Creator and Savior. Second, we need to realize that we are, in essence, Mary Magdalene. Because of our sin, we are no better than Israel, the prostitute. We have no merit of our own before the holiness of God. We are the same as the woman at the well. But the good news is that Jesus came for people just like us and will restore His people no matter how far they have fallen. If we forget our past, we will become proud, conceited, and self-righteous just like the Pharisees. If we forget our future, we will remain ashamed and guilt-ridden. We must remember that Jesus came to call the sinners, but He also came to transform His Bride into the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21; Revelation 19:7-9).
Friday, April 26, 2013
Marriage and Family: The Role of the Woman
By Sara-Jean
There are a ton of Christian books and sermons out there dedicated to marriage, and each one breaks down the roles of the wife in marriage. The three things I have been learning about being a Godly wife and have found in the Bible are:
I'm supposed to be a helper to my husband.
Genesis 2:18: "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the
man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'"
There are a ton of Christian books and sermons out there dedicated to marriage, and each one breaks down the roles of the wife in marriage. The three things I have been learning about being a Godly wife and have found in the Bible are:
1) I'm supposed to be a helper to my husband.
2) I'm supposed to submit to my husband.
3) I'm supposed to respect my husband.
--Read Genesis 2
God created woman because it was not good for the man to
be alone and he needed a helper to fulfill the command in Genesis 1:28. A
man can't reproduce without a woman and vice versa. It's just not
possible. But God didn't just create women to reproduce, He also created
them to help man reflect His image (Genesis 1:26-27). God created men and woman
differently on purpose, because when a man and woman come together they become
one and reflect the image of God — 3 in 1. One of the reasons Eric and I
got married was because we discovered that together we help each other reflect
God better than if we were apart. It looks like this in our marriage: I'm more
people-oriented, while Eric is more task-oriented. Sometimes I'm too people-oriented
and I don't get everything done I should, where Eric is more task-oriented and he
sometimes is more concerned with finishing the task than the relationship with
the people involved with the task. Together we help balance each other out.
Application:
Girls: Find a Godly man who you can balance out and is
willing to be sharpened. (Proverbs 27:17)
Guys: Find a Godly woman who will balance you out and
sharpen you.
I'm supposed
to submit to my husband.
--Read Ephesians 5:22-24
The
word submit is treated like a swear word in both Christian and in non-Christian
circles. I'll admit for the longest time I didn't like that word at all. I
think it's because when I first heard of submit I thought of being treated like
doormat, just doing whatever my husband wants to do and losing my identity.
THAT'S A LIE. Since being married I have discovered submission isn't a dirty
word. I married a man that I respect greatly (we'll talk more about that later)
and who is pursuing Christ. The word submit in Greek is a military term to
express rank, to fall in line voluntarily. The term does not express value. I
think that's where a lot of woman trip up: we think it means value. It does not
mean that God values man more than woman; remember, God created us because man needed
a helper. A general is only as great as his soldiers.
When
I submit to my husband, I don't lose my identity because first I submitted to
the Lord where my identity is found. As I stated earlier, I have become
one with Eric because it is better for us to be together than apart, and through
becoming one with him I'm becoming more the person God created me to be.
Application:
Girls:
First you submit yourselves to God (Proverbs 31:30). Then, submit yourselves to your earthly father.
If your father isn't a follower of Jesus, read 1 Peter 3:1-6. Once you get
married, then you submit to your husband. You DO NOT submit to your boyfriend or
some random guy. Find a man, not a boy, who you respect and who is pursuing
Christ. See how he treats the other women in his life like his mom, sisters and
peers.
Guys:
DO NOT treat the women in your life like doormats! You have a ton of
responsibility; read Ephesians 5:25-33 and then read Mark's post about being a
godly husband. Find a woman who is first willing to submit to God and then
is obedient to her father or those who are in authority in her life. If she does
those things, she's a keeper!
I'm supposed to respect my husband.
--Ephesians
5:33: "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves
himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
The
definition of respect is to encourage, to notice, regard, honor, prefer, defer
to, love and admire. As a wife I am to do these things unconditionally. If you
take a look at the verse, it doesn't say to only give respect when he does this
and this (that's conditional). It says, "The wife must respect her
husband." Must means required. If I don't respect, if I don't encourage,
honor, love, admire my husband, who's going to do it? Another woman? I
don't think so! The world, nope! It's my job to respect and encourage Eric and
my joy to counter the attacks others may make with truth, and build him up (Eph.
4:29). And when Eric hears the truth, he becomes the husband mentioned in
Proverbs 31:23.
Application:
Girls:
When married, don't publicly or privately bash your husband; the world is
already doing that. Find a man who is pursuing God, who is willing to lay down
his life for you and your family. If you find a man with these qualities, submitting
isn't even an issue.
Guys:
Be the man God created you to be, and be the husband God wants to you be. Your
future wife will have no problem respecting you.
Get a Mentor
--Read
Titus 2:1-8
Application:
Girls:
Find a Godly woman who has these qualities as a wife and ask if you can meet with
her and if she would be willing to teach you what it means to be a Godly wife.
Guys:
Find a Godly man who reflects the qualities Mark mentioned in the previous
blog. Ask him if he would be willing to teach you about being a Godly husband.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Marriage and Family: The Role of the Man
By Mark
We all set out with the best intentions. When it comes to marriage, most of us say things like, "My marriage will be different. I'm going to make sure I find the best spouse and then we are going to be the most loving and romantic couple in history." Of course, this is easier said than done. But why is it that so many people who start out saying these things end up in dull, frustrating, or broken marriages?
While there are numerous factors behind this trend, some of the main reasons include:
1.) We have forgotten God's purpose for marriage.
2.) We have accepted the world's definition of love.
3.) We have accepted the world's standard for a "good man" and a "good woman."
If we are going to be able to make marriages work, we must be able to embrace God's purpose and definition of marriage and reject the counterfeit ideas of the world.
God's purpose for marriage is three-fold:
1.) Procreation - this isn't just about having children, but also training and instructing them to love and follow God. (Gen. 1:28; 18:19; Deut. 4:9; 6:6-7; Ps. 127:3; Pr. 22:6)
2.) Illustration - just as each individual human bears God's image and represents God to a certain extent, the marriage relationship also reflects aspects of God's character, especially Christ's love for the Church. (Gen. 1:26-27; Eph. 5:22-33; Rev. 19:6-8; 21:2, 9)
3.) Sanctification - marriage is just one of many tools that God uses to refine us and make us holy, which is not an easy or comfortable process! (The book of Hosea; Romans 8:28-30; James 1:2-4)
God's purpose flies in the face of the world's idea that marriage is about two people being happy. It's not that God doesn't want people to be happy, but His calling for those who enter this sacred covenant is bigger than two people coming together seeking to have their own needs and wants met by the other. When both people are takers, nobody gets anything. On the other hand, when two people come together to GIVE to each other in a Christ-like manner they are both blessed. If we simply went into marriage with a more accurate picture of what God actually created it to be, I believe we would have a much higher success rate in our country than we do today.
A definition of Biblical Love (according to Voddie Baucham):
"Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion, that leads to action on behalf of its object."
First and foremost, love is a choice. It is not some overwhelming force that makes us do ridiculous things like leave our spouses for someone else. Emotions are still involved as we care for those whom we love, but they follow the decision, not the other way around. Second, love always results in action. Love is not just the fondness or affection that we feel for someone else, it is proven by what we actually do for that person. Finally, actions that are done out of true love should primarily benefit the other person, not ourselves. Many demonstrations of "love" are done either to make ourselves look good or to manipulate the other person to get what we want. For more on the Biblical perspective of love, see 1 Corinthians 13 and compare the concepts found there with the idea of "love" that we find portrayed in our culture's media.
The Bible's standard for a "good man":
The world evaluates men with a shallow scale. It values attributes like physically attractive, athletic, wealthy, etc. Not that there is anything wrong with these traits, but they have absolutely nothing to do with a man's character, leadership, or his relationship with God. Women who use the world's standard when looking for a husband often end up with men who don't help them around the house or with the kids, don't spend quality time with them, and don't really love them for who they are. Instead of feeling loved, cherished, and nurtured, these women feel used, manipulated, and tired.
The Bible gives us a completely different picture of what a man should be. Below are the minimum requirements for a Godly husband. If a woman does not know a man who meets this basic standard, she would do well to hold off on marriage, pray, and wait on God to bring the right man into her life at the right time rather than compromising and settling for a mediocre husband now. If a man realizes that he does not measure up to God's expectations for husbands, then he better start reading God's Word and praying hard if he hopes to get married someday. It's never too early to start preparing for one of life's greatest callings: leading a Godly family. Here is what it will take:
1.) He must lead in love: the example that God gives to husbands to follow is Christ (Ephesians 5:25). In the same way that Christ loved the Church and gave His life for her, men are supposed to love their wives and lay down their lives for them. Again, love begins as a choice, not a feeling of attraction. We see from Jesus' prayer in Gethsemane that He did not feel like enduring the weight of God's wrath, but He chose to do it anyway (Luke 22:42). Likewise, when a man enters into a marriage relationship with a woman, he must realize that he is making a commitment to love this woman with everything he has until he dies . . . and he's not always going to have that "loving feeling" that makes it easy to do that. He must realize that God has put the responsibility on him to love his wife and family even when they do not deserve it. He is to represent the unconditional love of God at all times, not just when it's convenient or comfortable. As a man looks to test himself in this area, or as a woman evaluates potential husbands, a good question to ask is: What is his understanding of love? Is it based on his own feelings that change over time, or is it based on a decision to do what he knows is right in every situation?
2.) He must lead in spiritual maturity: this begins with a commitment to the Word of God (2 Timothy 2:15). A man who is not regularly reading, studying, memorizing, and applying God's Word does not take his role as husband and father seriously. Ephesians 5:26 talks about Jesus washing His bride "with water through the word." Deuteronomy 6:6-9 talks about the responsibility of fathers to be constantly teaching and reminding their families of the things that God has said. The Bible is supposed to be our primary weapon and tool in life. A man who is not learning how to use it correctly is just foolish.
Spiritual maturity also involves a commitment to righteousness and holiness. A Godly man is not willing to compromise God's law for his own comfort or self-gratification. This means that a man must not put his immediate desires ahead of what is best for himself or anyone else. The big question that a man must answer for himself, or a woman must answer about the man she wants to marry is this: Does he make the Word of God a high priority in his life or is he too busy with sports, music, friends, video games, or other worldly ambitions?
3.) He must lead in selflessness: a man who wants to make his marriage work must be willing to die to self. In other words, he needs to kill his pride. Ephesians 5:28-29 tells husbands to love their wives as their own bodies. They must care for their wives just like they would care for themselves. They must forgive their wives just as they would want to be forgiven themselves. They must learn to treat their wives the way women like to be treated. A man cannot do these things when he holds on to pride. This does not mean that a man must subject himself to his wife's every whim. After all, he is still supposed to be the leader and is responsible for the direction of his family. Rather, his actions should benefit his wife and children. But even loving husbands have to make difficult decisions that their families may not understand or agree with at first. The difference between a loving husband who overrules his wife and an unloving husband who overrules his wife is their reasoning. Does he do it because he is trying to honor God first and foremost, or does he do it for his own personal preferences?
Being a Godly husband and father is a high calling and should not be taken lightly. No one should assume that they will simply "get the hang of marriage" once they've jumped into it. That kind of attitude is just asking for disaster. Jesus talks about counting the cost of being a disciple in Luke 14:28-33. His point is simple: we need to consider our ability to finish something before we start it. Whether it's a lifetime commitment to Christ or to another person, we need to count the cost and see if it's really something that we can follow through on. If anyone feels like they don't measure up to God's standard, they don't have to give up on the idea of ever getting married. They may simply find that they have a lot of learning and growing to do first. Remember, it's never too early to start preparing for marriage.
We all set out with the best intentions. When it comes to marriage, most of us say things like, "My marriage will be different. I'm going to make sure I find the best spouse and then we are going to be the most loving and romantic couple in history." Of course, this is easier said than done. But why is it that so many people who start out saying these things end up in dull, frustrating, or broken marriages?
While there are numerous factors behind this trend, some of the main reasons include:
1.) We have forgotten God's purpose for marriage.
2.) We have accepted the world's definition of love.
3.) We have accepted the world's standard for a "good man" and a "good woman."
If we are going to be able to make marriages work, we must be able to embrace God's purpose and definition of marriage and reject the counterfeit ideas of the world.
God's purpose for marriage is three-fold:
1.) Procreation - this isn't just about having children, but also training and instructing them to love and follow God. (Gen. 1:28; 18:19; Deut. 4:9; 6:6-7; Ps. 127:3; Pr. 22:6)
2.) Illustration - just as each individual human bears God's image and represents God to a certain extent, the marriage relationship also reflects aspects of God's character, especially Christ's love for the Church. (Gen. 1:26-27; Eph. 5:22-33; Rev. 19:6-8; 21:2, 9)
3.) Sanctification - marriage is just one of many tools that God uses to refine us and make us holy, which is not an easy or comfortable process! (The book of Hosea; Romans 8:28-30; James 1:2-4)
God's purpose flies in the face of the world's idea that marriage is about two people being happy. It's not that God doesn't want people to be happy, but His calling for those who enter this sacred covenant is bigger than two people coming together seeking to have their own needs and wants met by the other. When both people are takers, nobody gets anything. On the other hand, when two people come together to GIVE to each other in a Christ-like manner they are both blessed. If we simply went into marriage with a more accurate picture of what God actually created it to be, I believe we would have a much higher success rate in our country than we do today.
A definition of Biblical Love (according to Voddie Baucham):
"Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion, that leads to action on behalf of its object."
First and foremost, love is a choice. It is not some overwhelming force that makes us do ridiculous things like leave our spouses for someone else. Emotions are still involved as we care for those whom we love, but they follow the decision, not the other way around. Second, love always results in action. Love is not just the fondness or affection that we feel for someone else, it is proven by what we actually do for that person. Finally, actions that are done out of true love should primarily benefit the other person, not ourselves. Many demonstrations of "love" are done either to make ourselves look good or to manipulate the other person to get what we want. For more on the Biblical perspective of love, see 1 Corinthians 13 and compare the concepts found there with the idea of "love" that we find portrayed in our culture's media.
The Bible's standard for a "good man":
The world evaluates men with a shallow scale. It values attributes like physically attractive, athletic, wealthy, etc. Not that there is anything wrong with these traits, but they have absolutely nothing to do with a man's character, leadership, or his relationship with God. Women who use the world's standard when looking for a husband often end up with men who don't help them around the house or with the kids, don't spend quality time with them, and don't really love them for who they are. Instead of feeling loved, cherished, and nurtured, these women feel used, manipulated, and tired.
The Bible gives us a completely different picture of what a man should be. Below are the minimum requirements for a Godly husband. If a woman does not know a man who meets this basic standard, she would do well to hold off on marriage, pray, and wait on God to bring the right man into her life at the right time rather than compromising and settling for a mediocre husband now. If a man realizes that he does not measure up to God's expectations for husbands, then he better start reading God's Word and praying hard if he hopes to get married someday. It's never too early to start preparing for one of life's greatest callings: leading a Godly family. Here is what it will take:
1.) He must lead in love: the example that God gives to husbands to follow is Christ (Ephesians 5:25). In the same way that Christ loved the Church and gave His life for her, men are supposed to love their wives and lay down their lives for them. Again, love begins as a choice, not a feeling of attraction. We see from Jesus' prayer in Gethsemane that He did not feel like enduring the weight of God's wrath, but He chose to do it anyway (Luke 22:42). Likewise, when a man enters into a marriage relationship with a woman, he must realize that he is making a commitment to love this woman with everything he has until he dies . . . and he's not always going to have that "loving feeling" that makes it easy to do that. He must realize that God has put the responsibility on him to love his wife and family even when they do not deserve it. He is to represent the unconditional love of God at all times, not just when it's convenient or comfortable. As a man looks to test himself in this area, or as a woman evaluates potential husbands, a good question to ask is: What is his understanding of love? Is it based on his own feelings that change over time, or is it based on a decision to do what he knows is right in every situation?
2.) He must lead in spiritual maturity: this begins with a commitment to the Word of God (2 Timothy 2:15). A man who is not regularly reading, studying, memorizing, and applying God's Word does not take his role as husband and father seriously. Ephesians 5:26 talks about Jesus washing His bride "with water through the word." Deuteronomy 6:6-9 talks about the responsibility of fathers to be constantly teaching and reminding their families of the things that God has said. The Bible is supposed to be our primary weapon and tool in life. A man who is not learning how to use it correctly is just foolish.
Spiritual maturity also involves a commitment to righteousness and holiness. A Godly man is not willing to compromise God's law for his own comfort or self-gratification. This means that a man must not put his immediate desires ahead of what is best for himself or anyone else. The big question that a man must answer for himself, or a woman must answer about the man she wants to marry is this: Does he make the Word of God a high priority in his life or is he too busy with sports, music, friends, video games, or other worldly ambitions?
3.) He must lead in selflessness: a man who wants to make his marriage work must be willing to die to self. In other words, he needs to kill his pride. Ephesians 5:28-29 tells husbands to love their wives as their own bodies. They must care for their wives just like they would care for themselves. They must forgive their wives just as they would want to be forgiven themselves. They must learn to treat their wives the way women like to be treated. A man cannot do these things when he holds on to pride. This does not mean that a man must subject himself to his wife's every whim. After all, he is still supposed to be the leader and is responsible for the direction of his family. Rather, his actions should benefit his wife and children. But even loving husbands have to make difficult decisions that their families may not understand or agree with at first. The difference between a loving husband who overrules his wife and an unloving husband who overrules his wife is their reasoning. Does he do it because he is trying to honor God first and foremost, or does he do it for his own personal preferences?
Being a Godly husband and father is a high calling and should not be taken lightly. No one should assume that they will simply "get the hang of marriage" once they've jumped into it. That kind of attitude is just asking for disaster. Jesus talks about counting the cost of being a disciple in Luke 14:28-33. His point is simple: we need to consider our ability to finish something before we start it. Whether it's a lifetime commitment to Christ or to another person, we need to count the cost and see if it's really something that we can follow through on. If anyone feels like they don't measure up to God's standard, they don't have to give up on the idea of ever getting married. They may simply find that they have a lot of learning and growing to do first. Remember, it's never too early to start preparing for marriage.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
The Gospel and a Call to Action
By Mark
Take a moment to consider the wonder of God's creation. From the vastness of space, stars, planets, and comets to the intricate details of your own DNA His incredible handiwork is on display all around us and even inside of us. For despite the powerful majesty and colorful variety that we observe in the world, we find that the pinnacle of God's creative expression is us, the human race!
For those who may doubt the fact that as humans we mark the grand finale of God's creation, just stop and think about all of the amazing things that God has given us the ability to do. We can run, jump, dance, sing, paint, write stories, poems, and songs, remember a ridiculous amount of information, solve complex problems, design and construct buildings and vehicles, plan cities, organize governments, and create a vast array of inventions. What other creature or species comes even close to all of that?
Before this realization starts to fill our hearts with pride and arrogance, let us remember that we are only masterpieces. We did not create ourselves. We are simply an expression of the Master who fashioned us to be a reflection of Himself and bear His image (Genesis 1:26-27).
Now, when we say things like, "I'm just not good at anything" or "I'm not special" or "I'm worthless" or "I'm ugly" it's a slap in God's face. We're refusing to acknowledge the intelligence, beauty, and intricate detail that he has placed in each one of us. Most of the time, we're just too lazy to put the time and effort into discovering just how amazing God made us to be.
God has told us plainly through His Word that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalms 139:14) and that He has given us everything we need for life and godliness so that you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption of the world (1 Peter 1:3-4). God has so richly blessed you that the only way your life could possibly be rendered worthless or meaningless would be if you resist His perfect design for your life . . .
Unfortunately, that's exactly what you have done.
Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and fall short of glory of God. Don't be misled, your sin does not simply amount to a few minor mistakes in your life. You have rebelled against God, your Maker, and betrayed your own nature. As a result, your entire being (mind, body, and spirit) have become entirely corrupted and depraved. You have become filled with wickedness, evil, greed, envy, murder, deceit, and malice. And because of your arrogance, you've tried to convince yourself that you don't even have a problem (Romans 1:28-32).
And there you lie: a broken and defiled masterpiece. Despite your best efforts to fix yourself, all you are in God’s eyes is a pile of filthy, stinking rags (Isaiah 64:6). God created you to bear His image and you have done everything in your power to cast Him off. Your life was supposed to point to God and instead you've run away from Him.
But even though you are dead in your sins with no way to even ask for help (Ephesians 2:1-3), God intervened. Jesus Christ, the perfect and spotless Lamb of God, took our sins upon Himself and received the punishment that we deserved: the wrath of Almighty God (1 Peter 2:22-24). He died and gave up His perfect, sinless life to save wretched and vile sinners like us (Romans 5:6-8). Then He rose from the dead and ascended into heaven to give assurance to those who believe in Him that they, too, will also rise and go to be with God (1 Corinthians 15:20-23). Now He calls everyone everywhere to repent and believe in this good news (Mark 1:15; Acts 17:30). When you do, you will be given the Holy Spirit who will come inside you and change your heart so that you will follow God's Word (Ephesians 1:13-14; Ezekiel 36:27; Romans 8:11).
If you know that you have repented of sin, if you have put your faith in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, if you have received the Holy Spirit and are walking in God's ways, then Jesus has said that you will do amazing like He did while He was on earth (John 14:12). Jesus did not come to show off. He came to show us the fullness of human existence. When we live our lives dependent upon God and submit to His Will, we cannot possibly fail (Romans 8:31-39). So the only question left for you is this: knowing that you can't possibly fail, what has God called you to do for His Kingdom? Remember, God doesn't have any meaningless or unimportant jobs for us. What is He calling you to do? Listen to Him! Then go forth and conquer with the assurance that the God of universe goes with you and will NOT let you mess up His plan!
Take a moment to consider the wonder of God's creation. From the vastness of space, stars, planets, and comets to the intricate details of your own DNA His incredible handiwork is on display all around us and even inside of us. For despite the powerful majesty and colorful variety that we observe in the world, we find that the pinnacle of God's creative expression is us, the human race!
For those who may doubt the fact that as humans we mark the grand finale of God's creation, just stop and think about all of the amazing things that God has given us the ability to do. We can run, jump, dance, sing, paint, write stories, poems, and songs, remember a ridiculous amount of information, solve complex problems, design and construct buildings and vehicles, plan cities, organize governments, and create a vast array of inventions. What other creature or species comes even close to all of that?
Before this realization starts to fill our hearts with pride and arrogance, let us remember that we are only masterpieces. We did not create ourselves. We are simply an expression of the Master who fashioned us to be a reflection of Himself and bear His image (Genesis 1:26-27).
Now, when we say things like, "I'm just not good at anything" or "I'm not special" or "I'm worthless" or "I'm ugly" it's a slap in God's face. We're refusing to acknowledge the intelligence, beauty, and intricate detail that he has placed in each one of us. Most of the time, we're just too lazy to put the time and effort into discovering just how amazing God made us to be.
God has told us plainly through His Word that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalms 139:14) and that He has given us everything we need for life and godliness so that you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption of the world (1 Peter 1:3-4). God has so richly blessed you that the only way your life could possibly be rendered worthless or meaningless would be if you resist His perfect design for your life . . .
Unfortunately, that's exactly what you have done.
Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and fall short of glory of God. Don't be misled, your sin does not simply amount to a few minor mistakes in your life. You have rebelled against God, your Maker, and betrayed your own nature. As a result, your entire being (mind, body, and spirit) have become entirely corrupted and depraved. You have become filled with wickedness, evil, greed, envy, murder, deceit, and malice. And because of your arrogance, you've tried to convince yourself that you don't even have a problem (Romans 1:28-32).
And there you lie: a broken and defiled masterpiece. Despite your best efforts to fix yourself, all you are in God’s eyes is a pile of filthy, stinking rags (Isaiah 64:6). God created you to bear His image and you have done everything in your power to cast Him off. Your life was supposed to point to God and instead you've run away from Him.
But even though you are dead in your sins with no way to even ask for help (Ephesians 2:1-3), God intervened. Jesus Christ, the perfect and spotless Lamb of God, took our sins upon Himself and received the punishment that we deserved: the wrath of Almighty God (1 Peter 2:22-24). He died and gave up His perfect, sinless life to save wretched and vile sinners like us (Romans 5:6-8). Then He rose from the dead and ascended into heaven to give assurance to those who believe in Him that they, too, will also rise and go to be with God (1 Corinthians 15:20-23). Now He calls everyone everywhere to repent and believe in this good news (Mark 1:15; Acts 17:30). When you do, you will be given the Holy Spirit who will come inside you and change your heart so that you will follow God's Word (Ephesians 1:13-14; Ezekiel 36:27; Romans 8:11).
If you know that you have repented of sin, if you have put your faith in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, if you have received the Holy Spirit and are walking in God's ways, then Jesus has said that you will do amazing like He did while He was on earth (John 14:12). Jesus did not come to show off. He came to show us the fullness of human existence. When we live our lives dependent upon God and submit to His Will, we cannot possibly fail (Romans 8:31-39). So the only question left for you is this: knowing that you can't possibly fail, what has God called you to do for His Kingdom? Remember, God doesn't have any meaningless or unimportant jobs for us. What is He calling you to do? Listen to Him! Then go forth and conquer with the assurance that the God of universe goes with you and will NOT let you mess up His plan!
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